The author is a journalist from Kayah/Karenni State and they are receiving support from The Kite Tales to write these diaries..

I wanted to be a journalist because I care about human rights, holding the authorities to account, and because the job gave me a chance to travel to areas I had never been to. 

But I never imagined that my work would mean I would have to leave my home and my family behind. 

Following the military coup in February 2021, the military cracked down on dissent, with escalating arrests and killings. Media organisations were shut down and journalists were harassed and detained. I decided it was too dangerous to stay at home and so I left my family and moved to remote villages.

My sister lost her job after joining the Civil Disobedience Movement (CDM) but it seemed my parents were able to continue farming for a while to support everyone, so things weren’t terrible. 

Then, in May 2021, war came to Demoso town. 

Since then, they have been almost cut off. Across the state phone connections became almost non-existent, while the local electricity supply and internet access were cut. 

It was no longer possible to continue working as a journalist, so I decided to head to the Thai-Myanmar border area, to continue reporting as best I could.

The five day journey was very difficult. It involved travelling through jungles and ascending and descending mountains. 

Even in the relative safety of the Thai border area, life is not secure because we cannot we were unable to live there legally.  

There are times when I have to go back into the jungle to dodge occasional inspections by the Thai authorities.

The fighting caused my family to leave their homes and farms as well. They became unemployed and needed financial support. Before the coup, each family member had their own income and was able to lead a dignified life, but now, life has become more and more difficult.

We then discovered that my parent’s house was looted. This is a home built after years and years of toil by my parents. But because of its location in the conflict zone, it is now deteriorating due to a combination of neglect - since no one can get there - and after coming under heavy fire. 

Now, after such a prolonged displacement, I worry that my family may never be able to return home. My nights are tormented by nightmares, and I spend every day worrying about myself and family members stuck in camps, particularly because the military attacks even these civilian refuges. 

In fact, my 60-year-old aunt was killed from one such attack and my uncle was injured. I have to count the toll among my close family and friends. Many were unexpectedly hit in the military's attacks. Writing about all these conflicts and tragedies every day is distressing and living a precarious life along the border as a stateless person has taken a toll on me as well.  

I fear for my physical security. But I also don’t want to give up my journalistic work. The longer the conflict continues, the need for news increases. It also means my nightmares will continue.  

Artwork by Song Bird who is receiving support from The Kite Tales.